But when people’s self-perception and feedback evaluation is inconsistent, as the case before Mike, what will happen? In order to understand their perception of their own from others, we must first recognize that there is a contradiction here, then, to determine their own true opinion by observing and listening to others. Numerous studies show that this is quite difficult. But others, especially when there is negative impression on us, they tend to hide this. When we tell a good colleague, her poor taste in clothing, or her new hairstyle makes her look ten years older, what good is it? If people are always talking about all of the views of their friends, their friends will be less and less.
Even told us the real opinions of others, we find it difficult to face these views. If Bob think they are a good storyteller, he may ignore or misinterpret other people’s views, because they do not think so. For example, when Bob talk about the story of his vegetable garden, the Soviet Union has been looking at this fact table. When read the words of others, this particularly threatening to positive self-perception. So Bob might be an optimistic attitude to explain the behavior of the Soviet Union (“Although the Soviet Union late for an appointment, but she still cannot bear to miss me such a wonderful story.”), But does not feel uneasy, he believes he is a talkative person.
I am not suggesting that we cannot see through other people think of us. Sometimes we are forced to directly confront the ideas of others, such as when students get points from their teachers or staff performance evaluation obtained from the boss there. In everyday life, it is difficult to ascertain the views of others on their own, but sometimes people will try to get at least a glimmer of hope. For example, in one study, experienced a six-week basic training requirements of the Air Force recruits, evaluate their own and each other’s qualities and thinking about other recruits perception of their own qualities.
People how to accurately guess their comrades believe the extent of its recruit’s personality disorder, such as narcissistic, obsessive-compulsive disorder and addiction (dependency), and researchers interested in this particular. In our view, the key issue is that people control self-awareness, the degree of accuracy of the evaluation feedback. For example, if people think that most people think they have the same age dependency syndrome that peers really think they do? Importantly, the researchers from the statistical sense, to dispel self- awareness of this association, thus excluding the possibility that people will simply build self-awareness feedback evaluation basis. As mentioned earlier, people tend to think, “ah, I think I have a dependency syndrome, other people might also think so.” After being controlled trial of self-awareness, the researchers also their objective self-evaluation accuracy were evaluated.
Facts have proved that, at least in part, people really recognize others for their views, even if they do not have to look over this way myself. However, the degree of accuracy is not very satisfactory, for the views of others on their own people and others to guess the average correlation between their real views of only 0.20 (0 indicates no correlation accurate correlation between a completely accurate representation).
How can we improve your accuracy? There is such a way: When in December next year to send holiday cards to friends, perhaps we can be accompanied by a questionnaire, asking them a detailed description of their true opinions, such as whether they like us, if we think of wisdom, tolerance, honest, sensitive, moving music. In order to ensure the authenticity of the results, we should provide a return envelope and stamps indicate the name and address, so that we can be friends with anonymous questionnaires to be returned. However, when we summarize the results and adjust the self-awareness, we really become better?
It is quite accurate understanding of the views of others on their own qualities (for example, how they are sociable, how wise, or how competent), and the extent of their favorite others. But the most accurate reflection of this fact: we will self-awareness is projected to others, and not because we are good to read other people’s views of their own. Imagine that Sarah think they are very smart, and the premise is that other people think so. Sarah did not need to observe their image in the eyes of others; she is very aware of their feedback evaluation (reflected appraisals), and the reason is that other people agree with her self-awareness.