1. If this sucks, I am leaving in an hour. Possibly I ought to set an alarm and label it, “Are you having enjoyable, Lane? Actually? Be sincere.”
2. Even when that is horrible, a minimum of I can inform all my mates whereas they provide me pitying seems. After which they’re going to say issues like, “Ugh, I don’t miss being single,” and I will be like, “I do know!” after which we’ll all get drunk. Not dangerous.
3. What if that is critically The One after which someday, we’re like “And we met on Tinder. I do know, lame, proper?” However then what we actually do is have a look at one another adoringly as a result of awww., trendy love.
4. He seems precisely like/nothing like his pictures. That is such a reduction/gigantic disappointment for which I want I might sue him.
5. Is he a assassin or am I simply lastly assembly an excellent one? He is sporting a dope swimsuit with a cool tie, is definitely employed by a spot that does not sound made up, and he is moderately humorous. He is both killed folks or he is my soul mate. No different choices exist.
6. Yep, that explains why this man is on Tinder. Vaguely sexist views on girls and the assumption that all his exes are “loopy”? Ought to’ve swiped left, dickmunch.
7. If we hadn’t met on Tinder, I ponder if we might’ve ever met every other method. Like possibly on the grocery store if I actually ever stopped watching cookies and imagining how nice it will be to eat them.
8. I am so glad I messaged him though he was making pseudo-duckface in one among his images. I’d really need to, dare I say it, see him once more. Holy shit, it is occurring. The Tinder second date. Alert the media, as I assumed this was a fable.
9. If we went again to my place, I’m wondering how quickly I might get him to go down on me. I do not know, generally you simply have a yearning for it like pizza or reruns of Household Issues.
10. How do I talk to him that I simply need his penis inside me for tonight and to by no means see him once more ever? Or the opposite facet of that coin…
11. How do I inform him that I am not hoping we bang within the alley behind this bar after which by no means converse once more? As a result of um, yeah. Not my #targets.